cekik darah.

Cuti2 ni, bnde random jer wat.
Td pegi womak(Wallmart) and makan Ihop pkul 2 pg. balik pkul 5 pg.
alang2 tunggu subuh terus ah. 

International House of Pancake.

tp ni aku x puas ati nih. makan kt Ihop td, order 2 eggs, hash browns ngan A pancake. hot chocolate skali.
smpi2 ader 3 eggs, 3 pancakes, ngan hashbrown. 
heh. ok xper, mkn jer ah.
dh mkn2, open story sumer, nk bayar.
braper aku kne? $13.
=.="
de heekkkk. cekik darah btul. mkn sitar or india lg kenyang la weeeyyyy.
dh la service cam haper. lmbt sumer.
huargh.


pegi womak, beli roti, jalan2 main ngan patung baby yg menakutkan wat pick-a-boo, jerit2 tgh jalan sumer, hbs $20 lbh. ceit.

haih. time cuti ni bahaya gak. nanti wat bnde yg sangat sangat random.

feeling feeling, go away.

I seriously don't know what exactly I'm feeling right now. 
I'm fine. I'm pretty darn sure I'm fine.
But why sometimes, he just, popped in my head?
It's kinda annoying. gggrrrr.

Go away. You aren't suppose to be in my fuckin' mind anymore.

It takes time. I know. sigh.

I just haven't met you yet.

This song cheer me up. :)

I saw it coming.

x tau la rasa aper skrang nih. nk kata neutral, x jugak. 
nak kata sdey, maybe la, sket. tipu la klau aku ckp "I'm totally fine". saper x sdey kan.
maybe full effect blum sampai lg nih.

I saw it coming. I really saw it coming. dh rasa cam something wrong somewhere, we disagreed on lots of things, got in fights for no reason, etc. I guess I kept denying it. I still tried to hold on. Well, apparently, I'm the only one that's been doing that. 

Long distance relationship is not as easy as it seems. 
I've said that, hundreds of times before we started off. I thought you really understand that. Well, maybe. 
Then you just can't handle it anymore. 
Just, video call, call, sms, wall posts, messsages, weren't enough.

Suddenly I remember the article about 'human communications'(or something like that, don't remember) and the debates on how technologies have affects it, maybe during PAVE. hurm. random.


We're cool. We've been friends since we were in elementary school and we'll always be. 


Oh well, HE had planned everything, perfectly for me. I just need to keep moving forward.




this song suits the situation.

Its not easy.

heh. never thought it would bother me this much.

maybe I don't really show it. I'm not quite sure how.
I miss you. quite much.
sigh.

but it don't really matter now.
you're gone.

kureng sejam.

dalam 50 minit lg nk jawab kertas final pertama, Math 175, and aper aku buat? menulis kt sini jap. heh
dh x larat dah. even though rasa cam x prepare sepenuhnyer, tp dh concentrated sngt dh information yg ader dalam kepala skrang. Chapter 17, please be nice. aku paham sket2 jer, ingat formula. huargh.
btw, hasrat nak beli lens 50mm sblum pegi Florida tidak kesampaian. kuchiwa2. xder rezeki. eh2, baru prasan, dlm seminggu jer lg nk pegi trip tuh.

btw, wat pertama kali nyer, aku berjaya deactivate facebook. haha
dah 12 jam dah deactivate. fuh fuh. berjaya gler. 
nak activate pas exam bio la kot. ari Jumaat, 17hb. seminggu woooo. mlm td pun dh tempting gler nk activate balik. haha

okeh, dah, belek2 wat kali terakhir. wish me luck. really need it.

lawak lawak.

tgh x bley tdo and malas nk study nih, tiba2 tringt pulok zaman skolah dlu. haih. lawak2.
maybe ni sbb aku tiba2 tringt ader seseorg cter pasal adik dia yg x nak stay kt skolah asrama penuh, and dia sngt2 la x sokong aper yg adik dia nak tuh. "kalau dia keluar asrama, bley ke dia dpt result bagus?" kata beliau la.

heh. aku sengih jer sensorang sbb aku dh prnh rasa aper yg adik beliau rasa. sangat2 paham. kalau dah 2 sekolah asrama aku pegi pastu keluar, nak kata aper lg kan. SMK Seri Rompin and MRSM Jasin. haih. sumpah lawak bler tringt balik.

aku x bley terima hidup kt asrama sbb aku rasa sngt2 trkongkong. dan penat. dan of course, homesick. 
"ala homesick, lama2 ok la tuh. aku 2 tahun baru hilang homesick"
yeah, maybe. tp sy x seperti anda, ok jer mnjalani kehidupan seharian di asrama tuh. aku? aku rasa sepanjang duk asrama, ari2 aku tdo. dr mula kelas pkul 8 sampai hbs kelas. aku sendiri x phm knaper aku sebegitu penat. kalau x tdo pun, x masuk sepatah haram aper ckgu ajar.

kalau sekolah bagus, aku hampeh, x guna jugok.
dipendekkan cerita, masa Form 1, kt SMK Seri Rompin tu, aku tahan sebulan jer and Form 4 kat MRSM Jasin, aku tahan 2 bulan. nk mulakan hdp balik pastu mmg agak susah. yer ah, dh dgn banggayer berpindah ke skolah 'lebih bagus' pastu dtg balik. per cer? ayat yg plng best yg aku dgr masa aku kuar MRSM tuh, ader org ckp, "dpt MRSM Jasin, keluar? nak jadi aper budak nih?self-destruct nmanyer tuh"
heh. xper, chill jer. pd aku x penting skolah tuh. yg penting org nyer sendiri.


tiba2 rasa malas nk bercerita lg pulok. sambung esok lusa ah.



 

huh.

first time I heard this song, I really like it, without really pay any attention to the lyrics. but now that I had, it's really, weird. talking about 2 people that loves hurting each other; kinda like, masochist. heh. 
camni pun bley jadi lagu. =.="
but I really like Eminem's part 'coz he rap with full emotion, like, I can really feel what he feels.
btw, I'm suppose to be studying for finals. omg. why am I soooooo lazy right now? ggggrrrr.

finals.

I want to write about my thanksgiving break in Gatlinburg but I don't really have the time now.
Finals are getting nearer and I'm getting lazier. sigh.
On the bright side, Florida on winter break baby! woot woot!

not another tipical thursday night.

It happened last week, I think. 
But I only have time to write about it today.
My 'sleep cycle' is way off track since, I don't know, a month ago, maybe.
So, on that night, 3 o'clock (well, morning, to be exact)
I was lying on my bed with my laptop on.

Then someone opened the door. There was this man, entered my room. White, American.
I was shocked, thinking, who the hell is he and what the fuk is going on.
He was drunk. I think. He must be.
All I can do was, just, watched him. 
I said, "You're in the wrong room." and hoping he would get out of the room when he saw me, someone that he don't know, in the room.
He was like, "oh."
Then he closed the door.


I started to panic. But, I didn't really do anything.
I don't know. I was just, shocked.
Then he walked slowly towards me. I woke up, sat on my bed, and just, looked him in the eyes. He did the same too.
It looked like he wanted to lay on my bed, next to me. =.="
I kept asking, "What are you doing? Are you okay? Do you know in who's room you're in now?"
He was like, didn't really respond to me. All he said was "yeah.." and kept looking into my eyes. 
He was really close to my bed. 
It gets really weird then. He was like, searching for something at the end of my bed.
Why would he be searching for something in a room he never been in before?

"What are you looking for?"

"Bathroom"


"Oh, not in here. Come, I'll show you where," while thinking what the fuk. =.="


I got off my bed, walked towards the door, opened it, got outside, and he followed me. 

"The bathroom is there, can you see the water cooler?"

"Oh. Thank you"


"No problem. Are you sure you're okay?" 


Then he just, walked away. I quickly got back into my room and LOCKED the door.
Only then, I really panic. omg. Did what happened, really happened?
Only then, I thought, what if he was drunk and throwing up everywhere.
What if he made a fuss in my room. What if? What if?

But one thing that amazed me is, how calm I was when that happened. I don't know. I was just, really shocked and speechless.


Moral of the story: Don't forget to lock the door.

cool.

3D hologram FTW!
 




Now I'm addicted to this song. =.="

basketball

even though I've been here for almost a year and a half, I just went to my first basketball game last Friday.
Vanderbilt vs. Presbyterian.
88 - 47.
Nice work Dores!

I forgot to bring my camera. =.="
deng.
anyway, it was a really good game.
Basketball is a really fast game. you won't get bored.
But, you will, if the gap of the points is too far away.
Brad Tinsley was amazing! #1

I learned few of those cheers. 
overall, it was very fun.
I'm thinking to go to the next game, if I can :)

people

people will only remember your wrong doings. most of the times.
so true. 
including myself.

it's a mean cycle. really vicious one.

so, make less, wrong doings.

everything happened for a reason.

I know. It's a cliché sentence, to make yourself feel better. 
and yeah, I know it doesn't work all the times.
but hey, if it comes from someone like your mom, it does helps you feel a lot better.
I don't remember the last time I cried this much. omg.
I didn't cried this much when I'm homesick too.
But man, I feel a lot better after that.

Obstacle like this made you reflect on yourself more.
I tried my best to make everyone happy, well, I think I did.
some people didn't feel that way.
I tried, maybe not hard enough.
blergh.
It's hard to satisfy everyone. 


If my presence will only make you feel, burdened, troubled, I'll step back.
I don't want to trouble anyone.
I gotta admit. I'm not a fighter. I'm a quitter.
I'm maybe strong physically, but I'm not emotionally.
like, seriously.


Hey, life sucks sometimes. Suck it up. Move forward.
Experiences will made you stronger and become more mature. I guess.

Congratulations.

Congratulations for being such a jerk, Aini.
*clapping.

I'm the bad guy. I always am. 
I don't know. Maybe I'm born to this world just to trouble everyone.
To be a burden to everyone.
Sorry. I can't promise I won't do it again. 
Maybe I will. without myself willing it to happen.

All I can say is I'm sorry. I know that's not enough.


p.s: I'm surprised of how many people would read this blog. It's nothing. It's just a place for me to talk to myself.

confused.

I can't tell who's my friend and who's not anymore.

heh

I'm tired of taking care of other people's feeling.
Who would take care of mine?

This is why I prefer to do things on my own.
I won't troubled anyone and people won't troubled me too.
I won't hurt anyone and people won't hurt me.

But no one can live alone. I really wish I can.


Maybe it will be a lot easier if I'm a psychopath.
I don't have to deal with this feeling as I don't have any.

But then, I'll start killing people, just like in the movies.

zaman kegelapan.

skrang ni serius zaman kegelapan. 
semakin lama, semakin malap kegemilangan dan kecemerlangan yg ader since skolah rendah. chewah.
kalau ingat2 balik, bahagia nyer la masa sekolah rendah dulu.
main2 jer keje.
sekolah menengah pun, main2 gak lg. tp kureng sket ah.
tapi undergrad nih. fuh. main2 jer, habis ah.
merundum. 
serabut serai hidup skrang. haaaiiihhhh.
guitar dh berhabuk dh. x sempat nk main. psp tu dh jd pekasam dlm laci.

kuchiwa gler dgn math nih. 
professor main peranan besar jugak la. salah pilih prof, kalau x dpt nk adapt ngan dia, habis.
aku lg sanggup amek kelas ngan Prof. Pamella Pigg yg test dia susah nak mampos tp dlm tiap kelas dia, mmg kompom paham.
kenapa la dia x ajar 175. haih
Prof aku skrang macam haper ntah. ader masa paham aper yg dia ajar.
tapi mostly x make sense aper yg dia ckp. x pahaaaaaaaammmmm.
huuaarrgghhh.
dah terlambat. dh nk hbs sem dh. redah jer ah. 
yikuzo!

fuk

that's all I want to say.
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuukkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

..

dear BSCI 110A,
why are you being so hard to me?
open up, let me in.
let me understand you. let me engage in your life.
you too Math 175.
I really need you both to cooperate with me.
SPAN100, we've been getting along really great, but it seems like you're avoiding me. Trying to be further away from me. Why?
ChBE161, we had a pretty smooth start and please, stay with me.
Don't leave me too far behind. I'm trying my best to catch up.

love, xoxo.

nak cuti lg.

lbh kurang 3 minggu lagi. Thanksgiving break.
dpt la dlm seminggu lebih cuti. 
Tapi x bley nk enjoy sngt cuti nih. naik cuti, pas dlm 1-2 minggu, final pulok.
But, cuti tetap cuti. keh3.
at least aku nk amek 4 ari. 3 ari nk pegi cabin kat Gatlinburg.
duit xder nih. haih.
cam cari pasal jer nih. hik3. 
makan roti la aku masa pegi Florida bln 12 tu kang.

Halloween

It's that time of the year, in US.

Well, not really, yet. Es de 24 de octubre. 

But, the haunted houses are open now on weekend.

and, for the sake of 'wanting to experience the American culture', me and my friends decided to go to one of those haunted house. and we chose Monster Mountain as it is 'outdoor'.

15 USD. yes, it is pretty expensive, but hey, let's just give it a try.

At the end, that 15 USD was not worth it.

Maybe it was our fault. Masuk skali 10 orang, mmg la x takut kan. Orang depan jer la kena kaw2. Orang belakang relax jer (aku antaranyer la).

I gotta say, setting memang gempak. ader cam, lain2 bahagian. It's outdoor, but then you have to get in a few 'sections' with different theme. Por ejemplo, jln2 sikit dekat luar, then masuk satu umah kecik. Then keluar, jalan sikit lg kt luar, masuk dalam bangunan kecik lain. Setiap 'umah kecik' lain2 theme. Lebih kurang gitu la.

Among favorite, ader satu part tuh cam, bahagian dapur. Shoot, bau busuk dowh. Then ader pak cik gemok nak mampos, pegang parang or something, siap costume, make up sumer, duk dalam dapur tuh. Pastu dia cam, takut2kan la kan (d'uh).

Even though kter tau tu mmg org biasa jer. But dude, suasana tu serious seram.Sumpah pak cik tu really look like someone that will butcher innocent people. haha

Then ader mamat yang pegang chainsaw tuh. Yang nih lawak campur takut. Masa ni jalan kt luar. Then dgr bunyi cam, orang buat bunyi burung tuh. Memang obvious ah tu orang yg wat. Then one of us reply ah, wat bunyi burung tu jugak. "came from there" - sambil tunjuk kt ader cam, 1 pintu. So, sumer orang cam, concentrate kat pintu tuh, diam jer. Tiba2, mamat yang again, siap costume and make up sumer, keluar, pegang chainsaw, dia hidupkan chainsaw tu and gelak jahat. WTF. orang kt depan lari dah. Mamat tu btul2 depan aku. I really hate the sound of that chainsaw. 

Ader gak satu part yang, cam dlm hospital. Bau pun bau hospital. 

Ader clown, of course la kan. That's cliché.

Clown yang comel main "pick-a-boo". haha

Ader cam budak2 ajak main. "Come on in. Let's play" dengan suara yang comel but seram at the same time. Heh, nah. I think I'll passed. :P

Ader cam, rumah yang so fukin' messy. Aku rasa dia mmg guna laundry yang x basuh selama sebulan, letak kat situ. And toilet yang tak flush. =.="
And of course, dalam sumer tuh, ader dinding yang covered with blood. 

Tapi part paling x bley blah, kterorg sesat jap dalam maze yang x braper maze tuh. Haunted house of course la one way. But then ader satu pintu tu cam, x rupa pintu. Kterorg ingtkan ader jalan lain kot. Sampai kterorg keluar ikut satu lubang nih, ngam2 jer badan aku. Aku dah rasa jalan tu x logic as omputih kan besar2, mna muat lubang nih. Rupanyer kterorg dh off track. So, kira kterorg masuk blakang takbir la. "Guys, you got the wrong way" kata salah seekor 'hantu' yang ader kat situ, dengan selambanyer. 

Then kterorg masuk balik kt where we suppose to be, through one of the holes that they used to scared people; to make one of those, sudden appereance. LOL. Pastu dah x takut dah. Dah jumper ngan hantu yang chill jer. LOLOL.

Sumer 'hantu2'  kat situ berjaya gak la buat aku terkejut for a split second. Then it came to me, 'chill jer dowh. orang biasa jer sumer tuh'.

keh3
dekat 30-40 minit gak la dalam tuh.

Oh, ader 1 part tu ader patung hantu yang rupa cam, hantu pocong. What the fuk.

Balik, singgah Waffle House makan waffle. keh3.

Bler pikir balik, kalau masuk dalam tuh cam, 5 orang skali ke maximum, memang cuak gler kot.

Ader aku dgr pasal 1 haunted house ni. katanyer rating no.1.

Torture Factory. Ni pic from the website:

*tak rasa terkejut beruk ke kalau keluar dari pintu tu, nampak bende nih?

Teringin gak. tapi ntah bley sampai ke x. duit xder dah nih sebenarnyer. kuh3.

Ok, dh pkul 6 pg. Tdo2. Subuh dulu.

spanish, japanese, chinese.

Don't you think it's cool to know many languages?
I do. I'm learning spanish right now.
I'm thinking to take japanese class next year and chinese class on senior year.
I'm not expecting to get an A for chinese, so, better I take it as pass/fail course. I just want to learn chinese for fun and to fulfill the open electives requirement.
I'm thinking to take arabic too to fulfill the liberal arts core elective requirement.
But then, I don't have the time to do so. 
It's like I'm minoring in languages. HAHA

p.s: it's fun when you can understand other languages. Right now, if I hear anyone talk in spanish, I can actually understand at least some of it, then I'll just smile to myself :P 
Spanish is like, the second language here in US.
No one would expect that a malay girl could understand spanish. I could :D

ok, x bley kot.

baru 3 bulan berlalu, aku balik kampung bln may sampai bln julai yg lps.

tp dh pikir nk balik jer nih, per cer?

cam x jd jer plan x nk blk thn dpn.

kalau bley nak balik ah. x kira la missed Midwest games and senior farewell party tuh. yg pnting dpt blk. sebulan pun jd aahhh. paling lama ah nih aku bley berthn x balik kampung setahun. x bley more than that.

mak pun seboleh2 nak aku balik gak.

I'm not saying anything but, diorang agak dh berumur. Selagi panjang umur diorang, aku nk spent time ngan diorg la kan. takut jugak bler dipikir2.

Ya Allah, panjangkan umur mereka, amiinn.

insyaAllah ah. hopefully bley dpt keje masa sem Spring nanti. ader la duit nak balik. and nk kne beli corelle yg diidamkan mak tuh. kuh3.

ok, dh decide, kalau boleh, and I'll try my best ntuk membolehkannyer, aku nk balik gak thn dpn.

ok, sedap sket dh rasa hati. study elok2 yer aini.

p.s: tiba2 tringt masa kt mrsm dlu, antara bnde yg decide aku nk blah dr situ ialah aku tgk kalendar and realized aku x bley balik kampung ntuk 3 bulan. now aku kne thn at least sethn. huiyoo.

It's not the end of the world

That was a really hard push to the ground. 
Life was never meant to be easy. 
But I never thought it would be this hard.
I almost give up, entirely. 

But then I thought "hey, it's not the end of the world. You didn't get an A. there's a chance you'll fail this but hey, there's always someone else out there that has a bigger problem." 
If I give up now, things would be worse. I need to take control of the situation.

I don't know how many entries on my blog saying I'm down, disappointed, etc 

Too many, I guess.

Those need to stop.


So, get up, get that dirt off your shoulder, and move forward.
What has happened, happened. I can't turn back the time.
Move forward.




I feel like I'm 'recharged' now after 3 days of hibernating. :D

stop it

I need to stop this bad habit of thinking too much.
It's troublesome. really.

hopeless.

.................................
whatever the end product is, I'll never be the same ever again.

=.="

ok, even though fall break = 4 days, I'm really looking forward for it.
my plans:
sleep. sleep.
watch marathons of House and CSI.
Saw 3D.
Picnic.
sleep some more.
tocar la guitarra. tp Fuad nk guitar dia balik dh. =.="
Halo, kalau tersesat ke bilik atok.


aku rasa x berbaloi nk pegi jalan jauh2 fall break nih. 4 ari jer pun. tdo lg sedap.
ntah kenapa rasa nak post video nih. aku tertarik ngan arctic monkeys ni dulu sbb nama dia cam best jer. now they are among my favorites la :D

ajal maut di tangan tuhan

Baru2 ini tgh kecoh pasal tragedi 10.10.10 kt lebuhraya PLUS tuh.
aq pun tau pas call mak, mak ader cter.
Then ader org post video kt fb. org yg rakam tu mmg antara org yg first sampai site tu la. Accident tu berlaku dkt pkul 7 mlm kan. dlm video tu agak terang ah coz x gelap lg.
MasyaAllah. Mayat bergelimpangan.
Bawah bas yg terbalik tu ader tangan org terjulur. Jalan raya tu basah bukan sbb air tp darah. Ader mayat tu kepala dia hancur. Then ader 1 yg blakang badan dia cam disiat. 
Huuuu, ngeri2.
sampai skrang x bley nk buang imej2 yg aq tgk kt video tuh. deng. berani lg pegi tengok. time tgk tu ok lg. nk tdo kang trbayang2. =.="
But, it really makes me wonder, camner la bas yg besar gedabak tu bley melambung, terbalik, then landing atas 2 kereta.
cuba bayangkan cam dalam movie yg dirakam dr different scene.
yg bas ni bawak laju nk potong keta kt dpn, then terbabas. ok, org dlm bas tu sure ah dh panic sumer. tapi yg kt arah bertentangan tuh. tgh rilek bawak keta, chill jer happy nk balik kampung, tiba2, bedebak. bas ader kt atas. 
Wallahualam. 
x dapat nk bayangkan.
kadang2 bgus gak tgk video camni. rasa insaf. kalau dh ajal, kt mna2 and bler2 masa pun bley berlaku.





T.T

welcome back LP

I've been LP's fan since I am 10, if I'm not mistaken.
and I did memorized 'In The End' song at that time.

@.@

Fall break. 
3 tests between us; Bioscience, Spanish and Math.
I can't wait to meet you.
My plan for the fall break: spend lots of quality time with my lovely, comfy bed.
We did that on regular basis, but, we're gonna spend some special time on fall break like watching House marathon or maybe, starts watching korean drama, NOT.

please fall break, hurry up.


 

adrenaline demand

sy nk naik nih

dan ini

dan semua yg ader kt Cedar Point.
tp keadaan x mengizinkan skrang. kuh3.

sabar aini. lain kali yer.

October

It's 7th of October. 

Fall break next week; only 4 days.

Thanksgiving break next month;about a week.

and about 2 and a half months to winter break.

I'm already looking forward to winter break.

por que I'll be joining the trip to Florida :)

but I'm pretty worried right now as my bank account doesn't look so good.

*cough2

It'll be enough for the expenses but not included shopping.

=.="

last resort: ketuk abah nanti. kuh3.

p.s: 2 more open houses this weekend. last ones! :D

just another weekend, with a little twist.

Friday

open house at kak shima's house.

menu:nasi tomato, ayam masak merah, murtabak, laksa penang, lots of kuih raya.

thank you so much :)

my plate.

laksa penang

murtabak in the making

Saturday.

brunch at Rand. went to Centennial Park for the Culture Festival.

wore a kimono. speak spanish to a mexican guy. wore a mexico hat and played the mexico guitar. hanging out at the Parthenon. Ice skating. tapau some shrimp satay and shrimp tom yum at Satay. planned a prank on Mek Cha; it's her birthday on 3rd October. we only planned this 2 hourse before midnight because she was 'gedik', told a friend that she was sad as no one wished her birthday. dude, it wasn't 3rd October yet here in the US. of course we didn't wish you yet. lol. I made a special belacan mixture water.

she was soaking wet and covered with flour. and it was under 20 degree celcius that mid night. keh keh

in kimono

mariachi

the Parthenon

battle of the titans? hik3

happy birthday mek cha

Sunday.

open house at kak amy's house.

menu: nasi ayam, laksa johor, nasi impit, rendang, lemang, satay., kuah kacang, roti jala, kari ayam, kuih sagu, air sirap, and of course, kuih raya.

went to an asian restaurant at night. 

menu: sweet and sour tilapia, spicy red snapper, fried squid, mixed vege, seafood tom yam, and thai tea.

note: I never felt this full since I got here. haha
thank yoouuuu :)

having my satay :P

what's left of the red snapper and tilapia

it was so much fun indeed. now, I got 2 tests this week and a homework that due on Monday. back to reality.
p.s: 2 more open houses next weekend. yes yes.

ok, starbucks bertambah kaya. =.="

yes, beli starbucks lg ari nih and yes, beli iced green tea latte.

3 ari berturut2. huiyoooo.

tp ari nih aq x terlintas pun nk beli. habis dh meal money. duk diam2.

dh mmg rezeki agaknyer, keluar pintu Stapleton nih jer, terserempak ngan Mimie yg on da way ke Starbucks.

"Teman aq g Starbucks jom," kata beliau.

"erk. aq dh byk kali g Starbucks dowh minggu nih. tp kalau ko nk blanjer.."

"Jom."

*di counter.

"can I get a grande caramel frappucino and .." Mimie mengalihkan pndangannya ke aq.

"iced green tea latte."

"what size?" tanya mak cik counter yg chumel tuh.

aq pandang mimie. "ckp ah ko nk size aper"

"eerrrr, venti" sambil mengukir senyuman yg lebar kt muka aq nih.

kihkihkih

itulah kisahnya bagaimana aq dapat venti iced green tea latte for free ari nih.

and it's friday :D

again, terima kasih mimie :)

p.s: ptg ni ader open house. woot woot.

aq kuchiwa, starbucks yg kaya.

disebabkan kekuchiwaan dan ke-tension-an yg melampau, saya telah membeli starbucks venti (size paling besar punyer) iced green tea latte sebanyak 3 kali minggu nih.

sekali ari aper ntah ari tuh. sekali mlm semlm. and sekali lagi tgh ari nih.

=.="

Ini frappucino nyer version. tp prefer latte nyer. x ke menggoda kaler hijau beliau? haha

ok, berkaitan ngan post aq sblum nih pasal starbucks, aq wat sket conclusion:

1. kalau btul la ader E471 tuh, possibility bnde tu ader pun maybe dlm chocolate since chocolate mmg kne process sumer tuh kan. kalau air green tea latte nih, dia just susu, ice, and serbuk green tea. serbuk green tea just daun teh yg dikeringkan.

2. zaman nabi Muhammad s.a.w pun baginda ader jer berurus niaga dengan orang Yahudi. *kalau salah, please btulkan sbb aq rasa aq baca artikel mna ntah cter pasal nih. x ingt dh tp ingt main pointnyer la.

kt Malaysia serious aq x minum Starbucks. aq rasa x berbaloi nk beli air yg berharga plng murah RM13 kot. ntah, aq x tau. and aq x tau nk order camner. bende kejadah latte, frappucino, cappucino, segala macam cino tu la. skrang nih baru tau aper bende tu semua. haha 

lagipun bndr Kulaijaya tuh mna ader Starbucks. Ader kt Johor and Jusco jer kot.

Tp kt sni Starbucks tu mcm mamak dh. haha.

xder la murah. kalau size venti ni harga dlm 4 usd gitu. kalau convert ke RM mmg ah sama ngan kt Malaysia. x pyh fikir convert la kalau duk sini :P

x tau knaper tapi green tea biasanyer dibeli oleh kebanyakannyer orang melayu jer kt Vandy nih. haha

omputih slalu beli kopi jer la.

pernah sekali tu green tea habis, seminggu xder green tea drinks, orang melayu sumer dh resah gelisah dah. termasuk aq. haha

serious sedap wey green tea latte. refreshing :D
*x rasa aq promoter tanpa gaji Starbucks ke? haha

ok, study2. dh x nak kuchiwa2 camni dh.

exit.

I've watched this video, obviously because the song used is Muse's : MK Ultra.
But then, this video made me think. The real world maybe worse than this. 
:(
It's kinda disturbing. The world is pretty fucked up.
There's a bunch of MTV:Exit videos on Youtube. just search 'mtv exit'

:|

Have you feel so stressed out, you have so many things to do, so little time, that you don't know where to start, and you know you'll fail in completing all of them anyway, so you decide to give up before you even try?

I am. right now. hopeless.

berjaya.

saya dgn bangganya ingin mengatakan bahawa saya dan rakan saya, Reny, berjaya merebus 500 lebih biji ketupat mini dengan menggunakan 5 periuk nasi dalam masa lebih kurang 9 jam. haaaaa, amek.

saper g open house batch sophomore yg x puas ati dgn nasi impit tersebut, duk diam2.

x tdo mlm aq rebus sumer tuh.

hurm.

Lately, byk gak rumours yg tersebar kt internet nih.

Td aq came across one, yg aq rasa dh prnh dgr dh sbelum nih, pasal starbucks tu x halal.

aq jenis yg x percaya spnuhnyer bende2 spam camni because bende tu just tulisan jer, saper2 bley wat cter tuh then sebarkan. 

x kira la pasal starbucks ke, illuminati ke, video yg kononnyer malaikat landing atas kaabah tu lah (yg nih mmg aq x percaya langsung. malaikat tu makhluk ghaib la =.=")

It's not that aq tolak bulat2 sumer bende tuh.

aq survey dlu, wat research sket. aq stil consider sumer bende2 tuh.

aq x kn percaya bulat2. *of course la kan, org pun xder yg aq percaya 100%.

ader org yg baca jer trus ckp "eh, ha'ahla x halal, ishk2," trus wat conclusion.

trus percaya. 

kalau aq, aq akan pikir "hurm, ader possibility. try cari dlu jap"

and then aq akan cuba cari dr laman web yg rasmi, kalau ader, or website yg bley dipercayai. meaning, bukan dr blog, or facebook group.

perasan x, dlm bende2 camni, sometimes politics ader role nyer gak.

berbalik ke contoh asal, pasal starbucks tuh.

aq dh cari kt website jakim e-halal, starbucks ader sijil halal.

then ader org akan argue, "ah, ader org yg x sptutnyer luluskan sijil tuh"

on what basis org tu ckp camtu?

Dh mmg keje Jakim kan nk pastikan mknn halal sblum keluarkan sijil.

Kalau btul la itu yg terjadi, Astagfirullah. Tanggung ah org tuh kt akhirat nanti.

Manusia, ader jer kot yg x puas hati ngan hidup dia, terima rasuah la, aper la.

Tp dlm Jakim, aq sure percentage bende tu kecik. Still ader possibility, tp kecik.

Kalau Jakim x bley nk percaya, deng, aper nk jadi ngan org islam kt Malaysia nih?

bley jer kalau nk argue balik "dh tuh, ntuk restoran mamak, restoran yg lain suemr tuh, yg ader sijil halal, ader jer possibility tu jugak kan?

Haaa, tu lain cter ah. lg panjang aq kne tulis kalau nk cter pasal tuh. aq ader hw chem process nk kne wat pas nih. haha

ader org yg sokong 100% and bantah 100%.

knaper sokong and knaper bantah?

haaaaaaaa

but then, there's another point: starbucks ni Yahudi.

=.="

*sambung nnti ah, serious nk kne start wat hw. haha

down.

sumer nk teruk. mati ah aq camni.
bio ni mmg killer subject btul.
aq dh study agak gler-vavi nyer beta sheet pun hancus.
kalau x study, fail trus la kot.
knaper plak chemical engineer kne study bio?
1 course ni jer plak tuh.
ntah aper2 ntah.


yg math plak, aq mmg x suker soklan true false. kt situ plng byk mkn markah. haih.
mmg ah org kata bru 1st test, ader test lain.
kalau 1st dh truk camni, yg akan dtg yg lg byk and susah nk kne ingt, camner plak?
Ya Allah, kuatkan semangat hamba-Mu ini ntuk meneruskan perjuangan ini.
Amin.

Life

It's kinda fascinating. What type of people that will get into your life.

The one that will love you.

The one that will help you.

The one that will hate you.

The one that will hurt you.

Not to mention the one that you will love,

the one that you will help,

the one that you will hate,

the one that you will hurt.

It's a cycle. A vicious one, to be exact.

People don't like you and you're wondering why.

Well maybe it's the same reason why you don't like certain people.

I took a personality test that was suggested by a friend.

And in the result, it stated there that I'm the type that won't trust people easily.

True.

I think there was an entry before, saying I never had trusted anyone 100%

I'm not being paranoid. *this is stated in that result too.

I'm just, afraid of getting hurt. Afraid of getting betrayed, stabbed in the back.

I'm fragile. Very fragile.

I got to admit that.

Certain people that know me maybe think I'm strong, etc.

I'm not.

I'm just pretending to be one. 

If people are scared, and can't go on, I'll step up, I'll pretend to be brave, I'll try to guide them along the way. Even though only god know how scared I am too.

There's this feeling that I need to be the hero when no one else is willing to.

But then, who's gonna be my hero when I need one?

Es fin de semaña!

Yes, it's weekend!
For some reason, minggu nih rasa penat sangat.
One of the reason got to be because I only slept for 3-4 hours every night, this week.
yes. wtf.
I drink either diet coke or french vanilla latte every night, to keep me awake. I got 2 tests this week. even though I studied pretty hard for them, I still screwed them up. deng. beta-sheet antiparallel barrel.
Anyway, what happened, already happened. I need to work harder.


Kick off the weekend, aq lepak kt bilik atok. main halo.
ekeke
walaupun teruk kne belasah. asyik kne tembak dr belakang, x sempat nk pusing dh mati. xper2, main game ni kne enjoy. x bley tension2 kan. haha
then guitar Shecter Shedevil kepunyaan Zaki tersergam indah disandarkan pd sejibik amplifier(x tau plak amplifier tu model aper. haha).

deng, smart nk mati gitar nih. merah and hitam are definitely my fav color. harga dia pun smart gak. dlm 600 dollar. hek. 
duk main2 ngan gitar dia jap. walaupun x braper reti lagi, bley ah main lagu Escape Dance by Bunkface, 1 chord jer, yg starting. hahahaha :P
Acoustic guitar Yamaha kepunyaan Fuad tuh aq dh wat harta dh. hakhak
ko mmg terbaek ah Fuad! :D
kalau ko nk guna, aq pinjam zaki nyer Ibanez plak :P


pastu ari nih irbthday Dillot yg kawaii :D
happy happy birthday dillot!
alhamdulillah, ader rezeki, dpt makan cake Ben & Jerry :P
thanks ajak yer kawan2 :D


then blaja serba sedikit pasal gitar dr James. walaupun x dpt tangkap sumer, ader la masuk sket2. jeles la tgk org bley main byk2 instrument nih. lg2 kalau sumer instrument tuh dia bley main dgn terer nyer. ceit.


minggu ni nk kne btulkan blk cycle tdo. haih


p.s: xder open house ke minggu nih?cepatlah adeerrrr~
try nk ubah design blog nih. cam fail jer. haih

This is just so freakin' awesome. Blew me away every time I watch it.

I'm a dead meat.

I don't feel so good after read the biology textbook for 2 hours. *I studied calculus for 4 hours before that.
OMG, seriously, I feel like I'm going to throw up.
All of these facts, these new words.
I'm a dead meat.

this is something from what I observed on someone.

There's a good friend of mine. She's in love. The problem is, she's in love with someone else's husband. 
I've know her good enough to know that this is not what she wants. It happened beyond her control. 
Before this, she hated guys that are married and still act like they're single. I mean, she really hate them. Then there was a guy approached her and tell her that he loves her. She was furious and decided to play around with this guy. She played along, until she realized she's starting to fall for him too. She quickly try to stop everything. But then, it's too late, I guess.
I don't know how good this guy is with words, but, if she's really into him; he's good. very good.
He's married. He got what people so-called 'experience'
He told her that he still loves his wife, but things just got out of control.
He fell for her. 
and from what I observed, being in love with someone that is married, is not fun at all. I mean, she can only contact him when he's available; meaning when he's at work, or away from his family. There were times when she really need him, and he's not there for her. What's the point of being her boyfriend if you can't be there for her, at any times?
I doubt that this guy really loves her. Even though he did tell her numerous times he wants her to be his wife.
when they got married, would things be better?
I bet it wouldn't. In fact, it will get worse.
I tried to talk to her, approached her as gentle as I can. I don't want to be like others that opposed her strongly. She's a really good friend of mine. I don't want her to go through all this, alone. and I'm still trying. She's trying to end this too. I guess she's not trying hard enough.
I don't know why but I understand her. 
Hope she'll fine someone else that is WAY better than him.

suicide.

I did almost nothing on this weekend. 
I have homework that due on monday.
I have quizzes on monday and friday.
I have tests on wednesday and friday.
and I haven't study a damn thing.
Bioscience.
Yes, its a suicide.
Raya?
It was fun. now back to the real world.

.

No one can live alone.

true.

but I wish I can. 

So I won't get hurt by anyone or hurt anyone.

Jumaat ini hari raya.

so, plan pd malam raya:

study spanish ngan math as aq ader test spanish ngan quiz math.

skype ngan mak selama yg bley. duk tgk org lalu lalang, dtg umah pun jd ah. terasa cam aq ader kt situ skali sket.

layan feeling, melalak sepam-dua ker cun jugak.

haih. nk wat camner kan. byk2 la bersabar.

plan pada hari raya pulak:

pakai baju raya, of course.

'unboxing' kuih raya yg sngt limited yg aq ader nih. ader 2 balang jer; 2 jenis.

1 tu aper ntah nmanyer. 1 lg tart nenas yg 67% hancus.

apshal la tart nih fragile sngt.

nk sarap mkn ketupat ngan rendang.

ketupat xder, nasi impit pun bley la.

rendang? aha. masa balik m'sia tuh, aq dh pikir jauh dh. raya kalau x kne ari cuti, mna ader masa nk masak kan. plus, branscomb nih xder dapur. so, aq beli la rendang yg sedia-ntuk-dimakan cap Brahim. tp yg kurengnyer, aq bwk 1 jer. ces. patut bwk 10 paket/kotak tuh.

pegi kelas seperti biasa. jawab quiz math ngan test spanish ngan jayanyer. balik kelas, bukak lagu raya kuat2. baru la aq start raya! haha 

mlm pegi Eid celebration kt Commons. kalau serve mknn arab yg x sdp cam thn lps, aq order obies lg bgus.

sabtu ader open house MSAV. yes yes. 

nk beraya pun weekend nih jer kot.

isnin dh start balik dh mcm ari2 biasa.

minggu depan ader 2 test. so, kne prepare ah. dh la test bio. haih. 

sepatah haram aq x baca lg nih. nk bunuh diri ke aper nih.

selamat hari raya

minta maaf kalau ader terkasar bahasa, terkecil hati, secara x sengaja atau sengaja

halalkan makan minum

moga aidilfitri thn ni lbh brmakna.

ok, nk wat homework math ngan chbe. nos vemoz.

p.s: rndu nk tunggu dpn tv, kemunculan pak cik yg ditunggu2 oleh ramai org tuh. haha

dpt tgk kt youtube pun jd laaaa.